Renowned Nigerian pastor and marriage counselor, Pastor Mildred Okonkwo, has urged women to be cautious when choosing life partners, advising them to marry men who can make tough decisions rather than those who avoid confrontation.
“When a man is invested, he will need to sometimes take tough decisions,” she stated, emphasizing the importance of leadership in relationships. “So I always tell people, don’t just marry a man who spoils you, marry a man who pampers you. But don’t marry a man who spoils you because I know a lot of women who have made terrible mistakes in their lives because their husband doesn’t like to see them cry.”
She pointed out that some men refuse to correct their wives for fear of upsetting them. “If I correct her, she cries. So what? Babies cry, they don’t die crying. Crying has never killed anybody.”
Using a biblical analogy, Pastor Okonkwo referenced Adam and Eve’s story, arguing that Adam’s reluctance to intervene led to their downfall. “I think that’s the problem Adam had with Eve because the Bible says Adam was right there. He could have told her, ‘Would you leave that place?’”
She elaborated on Adam’s failure to act, saying, “Satan said smell the fish, she smelt it. He said touch the fridge, she touched it. He said taste the fruit, she licked it. Then, he told her to take a bite. Adam was right there! That was a good time to hit it from her hand and say, ‘Don’t do that rubbish.’ But he didn’t.”
Pastor Okonkwo stressed that true leadership in marriage requires strength, discipline, and a willingness to guide one’s partner even when it is difficult. Her comments have ignited conversations about the balance between love, discipline, and emotional sensitivity in relationships.
